INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Gymnastic Kidneys

Not nearly as positive as they sound and notoriously difficult to operate on, Gymnastic Kidneys can cause unnecessary wriggling and excessive flapping around. Cases sometimes cure themselves after the kidneys have knocked themselves out vaulting the intestine, or spine.

INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Spondulating Heart

More commonly caused by listening to too many power ballads. Causes excessive soppiness and crying in the presence of puppies. May lead to becoming a new man, avoid at all costs. Recommended course of action; kicking a wall while shouting while listening to Motorhead.

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