INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Fractured Elbow

A common complaint among professional Chess Players and Philosophers. Symptoms include uneasiness, bewilderment and general grumpiness. Can easily be re-set with the aid of a pair of pliers.

INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Spondulating Heart

More commonly caused by listening to too many power ballads. Causes excessive soppiness and crying in the presence of puppies. May lead to becoming a new man, avoid at all costs. Recommended course of action; kicking a wall while shouting while listening to Motorhead.

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