INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Inflamed Femur

Firey bones are considered to be the most troublesome of injuries to work on, as surgery is difficult while wearing cumbersome fireproof suits and rebreathers. Avoid spicy food, flammable gases and petrol.

INJURY OF THE DAY

Nurse Long's Diagnosis:

Spondulating Heart

More commonly caused by listening to too many power ballads. Causes excessive soppiness and crying in the presence of puppies. May lead to becoming a new man, avoid at all costs. Recommended course of action; kicking a wall while shouting while listening to Motorhead.

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